30 is not such a bad number!! :D

I haven't blogged in a while, so I thought I would drop in and post a few lines.

I am still at the ole diet, a combination of shakes and lightweight/healthy eating.

I am glad to announce that I am 2 lbs from losing 30 lbs. I am soooo excited!

I bought a new dress a couple of weeks back off of the sale rack and was brave enough to wear it this morning. You know, you think you want people to notice that you have lost weight, but I feel myself tucking in my shell like a turtle when someone compliments me. It's truly hard to accept!, but it is nice to know that my friends and family are behind me.

This last week we had VBS all week. It was truly a blessing, but there is this thing called the "teachers lounge"! It is truly the devil. It is filled with wonderful snackies such as nachos, meatballs, tomato and bacon sandwiches and too many sweets to count. I am proud to announce that I did not eat one single solitary thing out of that lounge! That was empowering believe it or not! We also had closing commencement on Friday night with, of course, a cookout with all of the fixings. Guess what, I walked around and talked with my friends and family and cleaned up and didn't eat at that either. Hmmmm! Beginning to think I am getting the hang of this. Well, that is pretty much what is going on in my world, hoping that all is well and blessed in yours as well! Have a wonderful week!

Back Up and Running!

Thought I would drop in a line to let everyone know how everything is going in the world of dieting.

I did have a wonderful weekend with my husband, and yes I did eat some, but I made good choices. I had some broiled meats and some steamed veggies. The riskiest thing that I ate was scrambled eggs, but if you had seen the breakfast spread, you would have been so proud that I only ate eggs. lol :D

Monday I was back on the shake wagon with just a few healthy extras. Today is Tuesday and I was very happy to see that I didn't gain any weight over the weekend. Ha, I can make good decisions! I have also now been to VBS for two nights. During our VBS we keep a teachers lounge full of absolutely wonderful goodies! I am proud to announce that I haven't partaken of anything from that room and I have actually cooked for it. Yee Haw! I think I am getting the hang of making better choices.

I have another week or so before I go to weigh in, but I am feeling good and just want to keep it up! I must confess that I did discover Diet Mountain Dew, so I am going to make sure that I don't start drinking too much of that so I get all of my water in.

Wishing a blessed week to everyone!

Weigh In Day

I am a little late with this post, but as many know, I went this past Wednesday, the 15th to meet with the nutritionist and to weigh in. I am proud to report that I am now down a total of 24 lbs! Woo Hoo! I never in a million years would have dreamed that a 24lb weight loss would have made such a difference in how I feel both emotionally and physically. It is truly proof that I have been cheating myself out of my health basically! It is amazing how much less problems I have had out of my feet and joints, as well, by simply giving up most all caffeine and sugar! Who would have thought! I also had a great meeting with the nutritionist on Wednesday, I told her that I didn't just want to lose weight, I want to become educated about food and the behaviors that got me where I am because I do not EVER want to go back. I want to be the healthy, energetic mother, wife, daughter, aunt and friend that I know I can be! Soooo, the journey continues and through HIS strength I will succeed!

To Be Or Not To Be (a smaller me)....That Is The Question?

Sometimes life just isn't easy darn it. We can't wait to grow up where we can make decisions on our own, we finally get to that point and we want everyone to make our decisions for us. Ugh, guess we can't ever be happy.

Let me tell you what is going on in the land of dieting. Not really good right now. Ultimately I should be on an "all liquid" diet. I did find out about an emergency meal that consists of about 3oz of chicken and a green vegetable. Well I have done that a couple of times and I assure you that it wasn't an emergency situation. All in all I have found myself eating a spoon of peanut butter, a cup or steamed broccoli or a grilled chicken breast. Most of the time none in the same day, but there has been the occasion that I have doubled up. I truly thought about needing to transition into the program that is two shakes and a meal, but the more I have thought about it the more I don't think I am ready. I just feel like I am off of the wagon, which is really funny considering the few things I have splurged over. I just don't think I am mentally ready or equipped to dive back into the world of food. I am also going away for the weekend with my husband to celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary. Ugh! After much thought I think I am gonna try and meet with the nutritionist and counselor this Wednesday and tell them my spill. I think I am then gonna go on my trip and eat VERY sensibly and possibly use shakes as well and then get back on complete liquids again come Monday morning. I think I need to do this until I at least break 200 lbs and in the process meet with the counselors and work through my relationship with food.

Nobody ever said that this would be easy and it's not, but I am strong, just stumbled for a minute.

Markdown Miracles

You know, just when we think we have everything under control, God gives us a little wink to let us know whose hands we truly remain in.

I had to run to Brookhaven today to get my Blackberry repaired because Baleigh broke it on accident last night. As the old post have stated, instead of the diet getting easier, it has actually gotten more difficult for me as I have gone, but I'm hanging in there.

I knew my clothes had changed because I have had to wear a belt with everything including my shorts and I realized that I still could grab a hand of material in the seat of my shorts, SOOOO I thought, I am by myself and already in Brookhaven, I am gonna drop by Cato's and try on some clothes. In my heart I knew that if I hadn't gone down a size in clothing, nobody would be there to witness the tragedy or the meltdown in the fitting room! lol

I started in a size 22 at the beginning of my diet and new that the shorts I was wearing was a 20, so I took a deep breath and picked up an 18. It was as if I had stolen the clothing, I creeped to the dressing room as to not be noticed. I guess I thought others were thinking, "She knows she isn't gonna be able to get into that." However, I went on in and the process began. I stepped into the first pair of pants and SLOWLY and I mean SLOWLY pulled them up thinking any minute they were going to stop far short of their destination because they didn't fit, guess what, they didn't! Ha! I thought. They must have been cut a little big. Piece after piece I tried on all of the clothes and to my delight the size 18 now fits. I truly can't remember the last time I was in an 18. I realize to many that size sounds really big, but to me that means the beginning of a new journey and a brighter future. God new just what I needed and when I needed it. Imagine that! So with sheer excitement I got several items off of the sale rack and boldly laid them on the checkout counter, as to say, "I" would like to buy these and by the way, they are 2 sizes smaller than I bought last time! I just smiled on the inside and thanked God for the confirmation that I am making a change in my life for the better.

Thank you Lord for the "Markdown Miracles"!

Paper Bag Blessings!!

If you read my last post you know that last night was a bad night. You know that I just about threw in the towel on the whole liquid diet.

Well I was about to explode and got on Facebook to see if there was anyone that I knew online to talk to.

There was one special lady online who always encourages me every time I see her and bless her heart I simply unloaded on her and she did a very special thing, listened!

After I got through ranting we got off of the phone and I went on to bed. I prayed really hard that God give me the strength to carry on with this journey and that tomorrow might be a better day. You know what, IT WAS!

Today has been a much better day, completely back on track and focused. I did some running around today and when I dropped something off at the clinic, Jill told me that this special lady had left me something.

There in a brown paper bag was a wonderful blessing! This special lady had given me a jar of pickles and boxes of sugar free jello. The two foods that are completely legal and a sweet card that had a couple of words, but the most important being, "YOU CAN DO IT!"

God used this special lady to minister to me last night and today and for this I am thankful!

Lord thank you for your blessings!

Ugh!

Okay, not a good week! Being honest, don't know how long I'm gonna be able to hang with the liquid diet. My mind is swimming, not sure what to do. Hope it's just a bad day, but I'm afraid the feeling is here to stay.

Chinese Spectator

Oh mercy, anyone who knows me knows my love for Chinese food, especially from Bo Bo restaurant.

Well we decided to take Thomas to town since Baleigh is gone and take him to eat and get some school clothes. Instead of him choosing Cracker Barrel where I could have splurged and gotten grilled chicken and/or green beans, he wanted to go to Bo Bo. Well, Momma wanted to make little man happy so I went. Oooooooo, I knew it was gonna be hard, but it was really hard! I survived though.

This week has been kinda hard to me. I have a past history of losing a little weight and then feeling like I was ahead of the game starting back to my old habits. Can't do that this time. This time it has to be a life change. Just gotta keep thinking that.

This morning I got up and put on a pair of shorts that two weeks ago I was gonna take back because they were too small, that feeling is not worth food.

I'll be able to have Bo Bo again, but after I have finished this journey.

Bye for now! :D

A Moment of Weakness...But Life Goes On!

Well it happened. I was sitting at the house and was determined to eat something yesterday. I found myself in my kitchen going through everything that I had seeing what had the lowest carbs and sugar content. I finally decided that it was peanut butter and ate a spoon of peanut butter. I ate it very slowly to savor every little bit of it and then of course felt guilty.

I talked to a friend who has been through the program and they said that it will happen from time to time. I kinda find it comical that my binge eating consisted of going through everything that I had looking for something low carb and then binging on a spoon full of peanut butter. My binge eating would have normally been a big combo followed by an apple pie. So I definitely see progress in the way I am viewing food! lol :D

Unofficially of course, it looks like I have lost around 20 lbs now, but I won't have my official weigh in until July 17th.

I hope to be down from 251 lbs to around 215 lbs by the time school starts. I haven't weighed that in 8 yrs. That just goes to show me how fast life is flying and let's me know why I refuse to live another day as big as I am. It's a long road ahead of me, but it will be worth it in the end.

Hope everyone has a good week! :D

A Shake and the Lake!

I must admit, I was wondering if I would be strong enough to get through the 4th without falling off the wagon, but I made it! All the sandwiches, iced down sodas, cold watermelon and snacks galore and I had 1 shake and a sugar-free jello! And we were at the lake from 9 - 5! I'm beginning to realize that I'm much stronger than I knew I was. Hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July!

Raising Cane about "Raising Cane's"!

Somehow I got confused and went and weighed in today. I was thinking I had been on the diet for 4 weeks, but actually was told that today was my 3 week anniversary.

I weighed in and have lost 16 1/2 lbs as of now.

Just about the time I start getting down and thinking that I cannot do it anymore, it is time to go weigh in and it keeps me going.

Baleigh and I spent the day in Jackson and she ate "Raisin Canes" chicken on the way to the mall and I promise I could have stuck my face in that special sauces and strips and inhaled it!! I managed though, I ordered myself an ice water and mixed me up a good ole shake. I even made it out of Jackson without Krispy Kreme! I have actually driven completely across Jackson before to get a dozen donuts and I promise I would eat 6 before I could even get home. So that is a place I will simply have to avoid, because I don't seem to have any control when I go to that joint. lol :D

I have 9 more weeks that I am going to do the extreme program, so I am just gonna keep chugging along and counting down the days.

The support that I am receiving from my family and friends is truly what keeps me going. On days when I want to jump ship, they set my tail straight and off I go again.

Have a "blessed" 4th of July!