A New Way of Looking at Things!

Well I'm still trucking along, nothing really big to discuss. I am going to weigh in this Thursday or Friday. Hopefully I can confirm another little weight loss.
I had another chicken breast and green beans today when Baleigh and I went for a late lunch at Cracker Barrell.
It was funny, I found myself looking at all of the things on the menu and viewing them completely different than I had before. The coke my daughter got, the only thing I could think was, that is about 120 calories. They brought biscuits to the table, though they smelled delicious. I realized that one day I may be able to have 1 with my dinner, but not the 2 or 3 I would have eaten in the past. I got my chicken breast and once again cut it into a million pieces and could hardly finish it. Another thing I noticed as I ordered my green beans is that normally with grilled chicken I would have had double carrots thinking I was eating good. The menu listed that each serving of carrots had 15 grams of carbs. WOW, OMGoodness! That means I would have normally eaten chicken, running each piece through ketchup, ate 30 grams of carbs with carrots and chased it with a couple of cokes and all of this on a day that I claimed to be eating healthier! And you don't even want to know what I order when we go for breakfast! I may still have to splurge on the french toast when all this is over. lol :D
All in all it is just a new way of looking at food! Sure hope it sticks with me.

Whew! It's been a rough couple of days!

What can I say, it has been a rough couple of days. Pat got sick and we have been couped up in a hospital room for two days. You know, I never knew just how many food commercials there were until I couldn't do anything but watch tv. I thought I was gonna lose my mind and I surely almost derailed my diet. I didn't, but only by literally biting nails and the encouragement of friends!

However, just before we got ready to go, the nurse was unhooking Pat and I saw a scale in the hall. I asked permission to get on the scale and I unofficially have lost about 15 lbs. God knew I needed that to keep me going, so off I go again.

It just ain't easy, but I'll just keep pressing on.

A Rough Day!

Today has been a rough day! It has been one of those days where I truly didn't know if I was gonna be able to stick with this liquid adventure! I made it though. It is time to go to bed and I made it. Praying tomorrow will be a little easier.Night everyone!

A Savory Encounter!

I did it! I had a small amount of solid food today. The hospital told me that I could replace one shake with a small chicken breast and green beans.Not to be a routine practice by any means. Pat and I were going out of town this weekend, but couldn't due to him being ill so I had it at lunch. There was a day when I would have turned my nose up at just a chicken breast and green beans, but I treasured every bite! Baleigh even said, "Momma, why are you cutting your chicken up in such small pieces?" I couldn't help but laugh, I was trying to stretch every bit as far as it would go! Lol Anyway, back to the ole shakes tonight, but it is soooo gonna be worth it in the end! Hope everyone has a blessed weekend! :)

OMGoodness, is that a wrinkle I see?

Not a wrinkle on my face, but a wrinkle of extra room in my pants! Woo Hoo!

I have had people ask me if I have lost anymore. I must admit that I am weighing, but only want to report on weights that come off of their scale. I will go back and weigh not this Monday, but next Monday or possibly next Friday. It's hard to believe that tomorrow will start my 3rd week.

It truly is becoming second nature. I have tried a few recipes that the clinic gave me to make with the powder, NOT HAPPENING! It was a good effort by them, but no cigar! lol :D

I like the shakes so much more.

Pat and I are going away for the weekend. They told me if I had a special occasion that I was allowed 1 emergency meal, so I may take it this weekend. I can have about 3 oz of chicken and 1 cup of green vegetables. Not sure though, it makes me nervous to eat anything solid at this point. Sure don't want to mess anything up, so off I go with shakes, pickles and jello in tow! lol :D

Won't have my computer until Sunday night or Monday so I guess I will drop a line then! Wish me luck!!

Have a blessed weekend!

Weigh-In #1 and I'm stoked!!

I usually blog at night, but I just got back from my 1st weigh in and I am sooooo excited. I have lost 11 1/2 lbs. Woo Hoo!

It just makes it all worth it to here I have lost.

The nurse was wonderful and talked to me and with me through some things. She asked me what the hardest part had been and I told her I had done good for the most part, but sometimes would simply crave food and that I had trouble if I didn't pace my shakes. She made so much sense when she said, "Beth, those foods are gonna be there when this is over." Never really thought of it that way. She did tell me my cholesterol was 241 which is high and will be monitored and that my sugar level was at the very top of the high range. Hope I can avoid the diabetes thing by getting this weight off.

I knew I was serious about this when I went to a funeral yesterday and took a small cooler with a shake, two pickle spears, a sugar free jello and my water. I couldn't help but laugh at my goofy looking self! lol :D

Oh well, won't keep ya, just had to blurt out my good news!

Oh, I almost forgot, for the ladies in my community who keep coming up to me and say that they are praying for me and supporting me in this journey, THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart. You will never know how much it means to me and keeps my spirits high, as well as making me accountable. God has blessed me tremendously with the community that I live in!

Not the Best Day in the Land of the Liquid!

Okay guys, today kinda stunk in the land of the liquid diet.

I drank my shake this morning and then went car shopping with my friends and didn't take a shake with me. It was 4:45 before I had another one. Good rule of thumb from now on is definitely NOT to let that much time lapse. By that time true hunger had set in and all I could think about was food.

Some days have been wonderful and truthfully there are some days where I would love just a bite of something, but I'll just push on.

I assure you this isn't the easy way out of weight gain. It is gonna be one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. I promise you it will make me think twice before I eat 6 crispy cream donuts in a sitting or mindlessly snack all day long. Ugh! :D

Yesterday Was My Anniversary! :D

My one week anniversary since I started my program, that is! Had a really good day yesterday. May have been just a little shy on my water, not much. Hadn't had any leg cramps until this morning,which is a side affect. Doggone they hurt!

Today I had tinges here and there where I kinda had the hankering for real food. Got Baleigh a chicken sandwich combo to eat on the way home from Brookhaven and I would be lying if I said my mouth didn't water some for it. I just kept chugging water and chugging water.

Just got to keep on keeping on! That's the only way.

If God Leads You To It, He'll Lead You Through It!

Day #6 has finally come to an end and once again it wasn't a bad day at all.

On day #4, if you would have told me that it was gonna get better, forgive me, but I simply didn't believe it. Guess what, it does and it has!

I actually cooked spaghetti, french bread, a big salad and cookies for a family in our church and then cooked macaroni and cheese with deer meat for my family and it didn't even bother me. Woo Hoo!

I even caught myself instinctively going to clean the cookie dough off of my finger by putting it in my mouth and stopped and wiped it on a dish towel.

I'm not saying that there won't be more bad days ahead as far as not being able to eat what I want, Pat's birthday on the 29th, the 4th of July and our Annual Homemade Ice cream contest at church, our 15th anniversary on July 16th, Noah's b'day party and on and on.....

I'll just tackle them as they come and with God's help and the support that I'm getting from friends and family, I can do it!

If God lead you to it, he will lead you through it!

The End of Day Five and I'm Still Alive!

As bad as I hate to admit it, it does seem to be getting somewhat easier by the day.

I didn't try to "take anyone out" this afternoon and tonight over food, this is a big improvement. lol :D

I did call a friend who has been through the same program and asked him if the afternoon/night cravings would come to an end and he said that they would after about two weeks, so I am 1/2 way there. He said that he was terrible grumpy until then, so I didn't feel so bad. He has lost about 100lbs since February.

Pat has been very patient through the whole thing so far, and this has been a blessing.

My aunt starts this program tomorrow, so I will have a fellow struggler to sound off of.

This has been a fairly uneventful day in the world of "liquid dieting", THANK GOODNESS!

I do have to cook for some families that are down in the church, so that may be another story... :D

The Devil Comes in the Form of Frito Pies and Hamburgers!

Well, Day 4 comes to an end. I do really good in the mornings, but I do get hungry in the afternoons I must confess.

Baleigh had her softball game this afternoon and I found it really hard being surrounded by nachos, frito pies and hamburgers. Ugh! It is a wonder I didn't literally take down some poor unsuspecting child having their snack. I had to work today and I was surrounded by Gaslane fried chicken at lunch and tonight is my first time to cook supper since I started. Ooooo, not an easy feat.

It crosses your mind, "Why did I start this?", but I know if I can stick it out, if only for a little while, I am that much further along than I was before.

I'm a tough chic, I can do this! I need to really start praying around 3:00 to make it through the afternoons. So that, I will try tomorrow for sure!

Talk to ya'll tomorrow at the end of Day #5.

Sugar Free Jello and Pickles, Never Been Sooo Good!

Well, I must make a confession. After I posted last night, I got soooo mad that I couldn't have a slice of pizza that my kids had that I had to get a bath and go to bed. Mercy, it was hard not to have some, so I just had to remove myself from the situation. So sad! lol :D

Day 3 was supposed to be the worst day according to the nurse and "knock on wood" today has went considerably well. It has really went off without a hitch. Must admit my stomach growled in church tonight, but I decided to eat some sugar free jello when I got home and it NEVER tasted so good. (It's allowed) I have also had 2 dill pickle slices as well.

It is funny that I thought I couldn't live without all of the food that I eat on a daily basis, but I can be satisfied so well with some measly pickles and a sugar free jello. Does that tell you anything? It does me!

I now know that I will have to learn to deal with the mental part of my need for food. I do find myself thinking about it, even when I know I'm not hungry. It's simply gonna be a process!

Family and friends have been extremely supportive and that is gonna go a long way on this journey!

Don't Make the Cupcakes Without Baking Powder!

Day 2 and it went much better than Day 1.

I got up this morning and put some coffee in with the vanilla shake and got the ole' caffeine in first thing. No nausea or headache! Yeah!

When I got all of my "powdered beverages", I was also given a couple of recipes that I could use. Note to the public, it doesn't matter how much seasoning you add to powdered tomato soup, you ain't a gonna make it good! lol :D One of the recipes taught you how to make cupcakes out of the powder where you could have three for a meal. So excited at the thought of having something solid, I forgot to put in the baking powder, the sad thing is I had choked down I "landmine" before it dawned on me. Shamefull ain't it.

The good news is that I did get all my water in, which is a big feat with me, but one of the most important parts of the whole program.

I am, however, feeling very tired. Another side effect during the first week and gonna hit the sack early! Hope everyone has a blessed night!

Thou Shalt Not Covet the Grilled Cheese!

Oh mercy, Day 1! What can I say, it's been a day. I know that God uses the weirdest circumstances to bring us into a closer relationship with him and this is definitely gonna be one of those circumstances.

I really haven't been hungry today, but I must confess, Baleigh made her a grill cheese sandwich and it gave a whole new meaning to the work covet! lol :D

The shakes taste good, vanilla is a little strong tasting kinda like cake batter, but good.

I however; did make a big boo boo, I am a big time coke drinker and I went all day with no caffeine. Public service announcement: DO NOT QUIT CAFFEINE COLD TURKEY!

It does make you realize just how addicted you can get to things, looks like I will be trying to whip two addictions at once.

I didn't inflict this torture on myself intentionally, I am a sipper and I knew if I drank a diet coke (which is allowed) I wouldn't get my water in.

I was in McComb with Baleigh and a headache and nausea hit me like a ton of bricks. Still suffering the repercussions of that.

I had to get out at the grocery store and when I got back in Baleigh had read the sheet that listed all of the side effects and said, "Momma this will all be over in a week." How tweet!

If all this wasn't bad enough, when I unloaded a bunch of meat into my two upright freezers yesterday, the door didn't catch, so I, the woman who can eat no solid food, is having to cook two deep freezers worth of meat so I can refreeze it and it won't waste. Ugh!

Get behind me Satan! lol I will not be defeated though, for some reason it makes me just that much more determined. I may not be such a pleasure to be around this first week, but it will work out.

Pat has been absolutely wonderful. I said, "Aren't you excited, your gonna love your skinnier new wife when this is over" and he said "I couldn't love her any more than I love her right now". He is even cooking all of the deer meat on the grill because the smell is strong. My Aunt who will start this program next week has text me encouragement all day long. I love her so much and know she will be with me every step of the way.

Anyway, this blog is truly gonna be therapy for me, it looks like I have almost survived day 1!

Let's Get this Party Started!

Well I had all of my blood work this morning and met with the doctor this afternoon. I am so excited and encouraged. Most of the people who work their are success stories themselves. It is soooo encouraging for people to introduce themselves and then show you their before pictures.

Everything I heard today was encouraging. Really liked getting to meet with a counselor and a nutritionist. They are gonna be key in learning my new way of thinking!

The nurse practitioner said the first two days wouldn't be bad, but day 3 would be rotten and then it would start getting better. She said by the time I had been a full week I would have to be reminding myself to actually drink my meal replacements. We'll just have to see how that goes.

Pat mentioned me waiting and starting on Monday because I have a cookout on Saturday at my house and I said No, there has always been something going on that I said, "I'll start my diet as soon as ...... is over". Tomorrow is my day! :D

The Last Supper!

Well this is it, tomorrow I go to get my complete medical workup and begin my program. Kinda scary just thinking about it. I know it sounds crazy, but I'm already having anxiety thinking about being without the comforts of the foods that I have come to love so much. I am already thinking, " Oh no, this is my last .....". It's an addiction and there is no other way around it!

I go at 9:00 in the morning and have ALOT of blood work and then go back around 1:00 to meet with the Dr. concerning results and then I'm on my way.

Wish me luck!

Here Goes Nothing...

I decided to start this blog to track my new weight loss journey. I figured it would give me an outlet to vent without boring all of my friends with the day-to-day thoughts and details throughout the process.

For those that don't know, my name is Beth Larkin and I have been happily married for 15 years and have two beautiful children. I was extremely small during my childhood and young adult life and never gave weight a second thought. After the suicide of my brother and being diagnosed with hypothyroidism I began packing on weight and had gotten up to about 165 lbs at around 23 years old while in college. I then became pregnant with my beautiful daughter and stayed around 180 after everything settled down after having her. I then had my sweet baby boy 2yrs later and stayed around 215 after having him. I have slowly crept up from there over the last 10 years and am now at my all time high at just a few pounds shy of 250 lbs.

I have many health issues, I assure you more than you want to be bored with, but I am to the point where I am becoming crippled and can barely make it through the day due to major problems with my feet and the weight that they are carrying daily.

My outside doesn't not reflect the woman that I am on the inside, I truly feel trapped in my own body and am simply fed up with it. I am not a yo yo dieter and have never lost a substantial amount of weight. I should own stock in Weight Watchers and have purchased every kind of workout equipment that is imaginable to man and never any results. Can't blame any of it, I simply didn't commit.

I am now going to start a medically monitored weight loss program called New Direction through Baptist hospital in Jackson. It starts out as an all liquid diet for around 12 weeks. I know it is going to be hard, but I really want to do this and be successful at it. I want to learn new habits as well as identify my bad ones. I want God to help me change my relationship with food and take care of the body he has given me. I go this Thursday, June 11th and get all of my blood work and tests done and then I am on my way.

Wish me luck, all prayers appreciated!