Hope is a wonderful thing!

This week I will be out of my classroom to attend conferences 3 days. Though I hate being away from my babies, the information in the conference so far has been on common core and dyslexia! Two subjects near too my heart with common core hitting next year and my baby boy battling dyslexia along with many of my students. It was nothing but positivity and making me realize that my baby boy can do anything with his life, anything and his mother will be his biggest advocate! Jut so nice to her positivity associated with dyslexia and it's made me more aware than ever that my main job is to build his self esteem! Food and exercise will be hard this week. Meals are controlled by conference, just making wise choices and between getting home late and studying, exercise will not get in like it should, but God will bless it anyway, my first priority other than God and my husband arevmy precious babies. Hope everyone as had a great day! After all, it's truly a gift!

Mirrors....wish they reflected God's view!

Wow! Had a great day! Walked 3 miles this morning, went to a sweet friends shower, went with Annabugs to get her prom dress fitted and got a little shopping in with the girls! Even though the day was great, why oh why did I go and try on clothes!?! Those dang mirrors in those dressing rooms are from the devil! All I could think about is what I've been doing and what I saw in the mirror. It's real hard to keep in perspective that I didn't get like this in a day and won't fix it in a day. Not discouraged enough to stop though, just more determined to keep on pressing on. It WILL end in success, this I will make sure of! I'll just hold the hand of my sweet Lord and we'll get it done!!!

HIS grace is sufficient! He's all the "at a'girl" I need!

This weekend and today has been a real eye opener after much time spent with God! It's funny how what HE reveals to you isn't always what you expect and sometimes not even what you want to hear. I have been exercising for quite a while now and haven't lost one solitary pound! I'm excited though because I have lost inches, but I must admit I want to start seeing some weight changes. Soooooo, to make a long story short, I have upped my exercise and am tracking my food. I have realized that I will have limitations with my feet

, but I'm okay with that. We'll see, but one thing I know or sure, with God for me, who can be against me. As for my lesson, yikes! Many have no idea of the insecurities that I battle. I hate it so bad, but I validate myself through the praises of others. I will praise others till the cows come home, but find myself deeply hurt when somebody doesn't offer encouragement to me! Now does that sound HUMAN or what! Don't get me wrong, when I tell somebody something, it is with the utmost sincerity with no strings attached! What God has revealed to me through this is that I don't have to long for the "at a girls" from others. Though it's always nice to hear, the one true acceptance I need is from my Lord and Savior! I know HE is proud of me and if nobody else in the world notices my changes, HE does, just as HE knows the number of hairs on my head. So I'm going to press own and try and do everything I do as though I'm doing it for the Lord! I'm going to thrive to do it with a good attitude, not codependent on anyone else and in the words of a not so great philosopher, get er' done!

More focus on my focus, but excited along the way!

Cannot express how excited I am to be on this new healthy journey! My kids are worth it, my husband is worth it, I am worth it and my God instructs it! Today I had a few "god winks" in the form of compliments. Though I find myself wanting to bury my head in the dirt, it does feel nice for others to see what you do not always see in yourself. I can give them all day, but receiving is truly another story. As I begin to feel better, I am finding myself wanting to focus more on how to improve myself more. I am down to 1 can coke a day, but want to focus much more on getting ALL my water in. Though I've been logging in Fitness Pal,which a friend introduced me to last year, I want to start doing more planning instead of simply logging and then assessing. Just love having this drive from inside that doesn't include anything, for once, but exercise, eating right, praying and sharing it with like minded friends. Just felt like venting tonight about how happy I am where I am. For the first time I am not seeking the acceptance and approval of others along the way and am not fueled by the opinions of others, but more by what my Heavenly Father thinks. This is so contrary to the old me. If nobody notices, it's okay, I notice. Other than my friends journeying with me, most don't even know. Just a subtle little compliment here and there makes my heart smile knowing that my little secret isn't a program or a pill, I can officially say it's just my new life I've begun! Lord thank you for my exercising buddies to share and support each other, thank you for a different mindset and my prayer is that you continue to place a drive in me for better health that is unquenchable. Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial!

God is faithful and so are his provisions daily!

This day marks the day that I lost my brother so many years ago. God has, I say gifted me, with the ability to not focus and lament on dates. To be honest, I had forgotten what this day was until a post on FB with pictures and the flood gates opened and the emotions came rushing in! It seems so unfair that the world seems to swallow up the hole that Jason left, but then I think, that's part of God's healing. You NEVER forget, ever, but God provides fullness in your life through family and friends. I am abundantly blessed with both. I actually have had an exciting day this afternoon. I've been cheering on my bestie who I love dearly on her journey to health and have joined her, though I don't battle the diabetes that she has triumphed over. She and I now weigh the about the same and are watching our bodies change daily. I was sooooo exciting seeing her reach new sizes in clothes, though health is her goal, I couldn't have been more proud for her. Then I got to thinking about how she said that it's so hard to see the smaller her, because the images of a heavier her still hang out. This hit me today. I know my pants have grown baggy and I have been drawing them up with a belt, but I still claimed the size they were. Sooooo, by myself I went to town to put furniture in my booth and received a check I didn't think I had. I told myself, "Nobody is with you so go try on some different sizes and when they don't fit, nobody's there to witness it." Sooooo I did! Woo Hoo! I started out a 22, have actually owned 24's a few years back and I could wear 18's with plenty of room to spare! I even put on and zipped up the next size down, but then I would have been arrested, lol!!! But I knew in my heart if they buttoned, it was attainable. I took my own advice and bought me a couple of sale rack items in my NEW size! Dare I throw the old ones away? God has made so many provisions for me throughout my life and I am so blessed because of it. Today I thank Him for voids filled by love and joy through friends and families and for my new health journey that I've begun and my partners I have to share it with. God is soooo good!

Marvelous Monday!

Woke up this morning feeling good! Amazing what a couple of days of exercise can do for you!! Amazing enough I haven't had a coke all day either and no headache. Even played Bunko tonight and was in good spirits and just got off the treadmill to top that. It is truly by the grace of God, but I feel him wanting to make a change in me. Everyone has their lines in the sand and I truly thought I had been there before with my feet, but the cancer scare had me pleading to my Mighty Maker with all my heart and I feel like it is somehow unfair to abuse something that I prayed so hard for. I'm going to pray daily that I stay close to my Maker and look at my changes one day at a time. Not to be discouraged by stumbles, remember I am worth more than I crave and last but not least, EVERYTHING IS PERMISSIBLE, BUT NOT EVERYTHING IS BENEFICIAL!

Gotta start somewhere and somewhere is where I've started. :)

Well, walked about a 1 1/2 miles on the treadmill yesterday and went and circuit trained tonight with some awesome ladies. Having accountability, companionship and counsel with others makes getting healthier sooooo much easier!! Will work on getting my water in better this week, baby steps are still steps! Had a blessed, blessed Sunday! God is good!!